April 18, 2010

                             Rev. Sharon James Fazel

                “The Immeasurable Blessings of Blindness”

                                        Acts 9: 1-20

              Every time I hear or read this story, something seems to happen that intervenes and sheds new light on it for me, in ways that I never would have expected or anticipated. 

             Three years ago I believe I talked about the subtle differences between what we today consider “conversion” and what we consider “call,” and how we are all “called” to some action or mission in life. I still believe that. But today, such an approach leaves me at a dead-end. Because what I see today about this story of a man whose entire life took a 180 degree turn, is just how similar what happened to him is to what happens to all of us in so many different ways, big and small, during the course of a lifetime.

              Paul probably considered himself quite a successful Jew of his day – a Pharisee confirmed in both his faith practice and in his dogma. He had likely filled the spaces created by his own mistakes by investing those spaces with more of his own ego, and perhaps with actions that produced immediate gratification of his appetite for power. Yet, what happened to him was a surprise. He was blinded by a light that came out of nowhere; heard a voice that demanded reasons for his negative behavior patterns; and had to be led by the hand into a town where he had planned to cause mayhem by rounding up disciples for arrest. There he sat without eating or drinking for three days. In this altered state, he found himself in prayer; and foresaw Ananias coming to him. Ananias, who offered Paul forgiveness, and whose visit left Paul with renewed sight, and a different mission for his own life, diametrically opposed to what it had been when he initially set out for Damascus.

              Yesterday morning, as I got ready to come over to church for Millie Giddings’ memorial service, I listened to MPR. It so happened that Bob Collins was interviewing Michael J. Fox on Weekend Edition. Anyone hear it? Michael J. Fox, of course, is a Canadian-American actor of the 1970’s  Back to the Future movie trilogy in which he played Marty McFly, the teen time -traveler.  Fox also had quite a run on television, as Alex P. Keaton in Family Ties and Michael Flaherty in Spin City. In 1991 he was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease, and in 2000 finally had to retire from regular work as a television and film actor, when his symptoms became too intrusive. He has since established the Michael J. Fox Foundation, for research of Parkinson’s. He is widely known, however, for his optimistic outlook, even in the face of such a grim disease and all its influence. His appearance on MPR was occasioned by the publication of his new book, entitled A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Future.

              What with Millie’s service just yesterday, and our Annual Administrative Meeting report not quite finished, as I prepared myself to come into church yesterday morning I still had not come to any conclusions about what I would say to you this morning! Then – I heard the Fox interview on MPR.

Asked if he learned more from successes, or from disappointments or even failures, Fox replied: “Success loses its sheen after awhile. You begin to see that there’s no such thing as absolute success; there’s always disappointment, there’s always failure, there’s always loss. But the secret is learning from the loss, to realize that none of those holes are vacuums. They get filled up. If you try to fill them up with ego or immediate gratification, you short-shrift yourself. You need to give the losses some space; and let life come in and fill in the cracks.” Even as he struggled at times during the interview with speech, and made reference to his medications having not yet “kicked in” to help him avert those struggles, his assertions were positive, and committed passionately to naming the glass half full, rather than half empty.

              Within two hours of listening to this radio interview with Michael J. Fox, I was here, hearing the stories of Millie Giddings’ sudden loss in 1958, to a cerebral hemorrhage, of her husband and father of her five sons, then ages 6 to 16– leaving Millie, herself 48 years old at the time, a single mother with 5 sons, and no employable skills outside the home. Two years later, after going back to school at the University of Minnesota, she found work as an elementary school teacher, and continued raising her sons “without ever getting ruffled,” said one who knew her well. And without even thinking of giving up or harboring resentments or judgments against others -- or against God.

              For me, these are two real life examples of what “conversion” truly is – the consistent, persistent application of positive values, and faith in the grace of God to live in the charity of others, as well as in ourselves -- even when the world is busy trying to convince us of just the opposite.

              Fox was also asked about the expectations that others place on him. “I don’t burden myself with worrying about others’ expectations of me, or even of my own expectations of myself,” he replied. “I think happiness grows in direct proportion to your acceptance, and in inverse proportion to your expectations.”

              I’m sure there’s someone who’d argue with that – but perhaps the point is, whether there is or there isn’t, it doesn’t matter to Michael J. Fox. Once he accepted the 180 degrees he’d been turned when set back on his feet at the point of his diagnosis, he put his energy into living his life as it was, rather than as what he had expected it to become.

The Apostle Paul did the same. From the moment of his blindness, he accepted the 180 degree turn his life took. What seemed a curse became an immeasurable blessing.

It seems to me that every day we have the opportunity to decide what we accept and how we respond to the twists and turns life offers us. My prayer for all of us is that we may grow in happiness as we learn from our mistakes and our failures, and especially from those one-eightie’s we don’t see coming.  Amen.

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